Are you masking Imposter syndrome?
A lack of confidence despite your excellent training, extensive experience, and past successes is a big hint that you are masking imposter syndrome (IS). If this resonates with you (or someone you know), learn ways to get relief from its exhausting and debilitative hold on you.
How Common Is Imposter Syndrome?
A whopping 75 percent of US female executives, and according to Forbes, 70 percent of the US population have experienced IS symptoms at some point in time. Although the lack of confidence, especially paired with significant responsibilities and professional exposure fosters isolation, clearly imposters are not alone.
Who Are The Imposters
Originally thought to occur predominantly in women, a recent study conducted by Badaway, Gazdag, and Brouer found that it affects men too and to some extent with more severe symptoms. IS can affect anyone, but it disproportionately affects high-achievers such as Ph.D. holders, executives, managers, etc.
Further, some researchers suggest that millennials harbor a significant degree of imposter syndrome because they were formed and continue to live in highly public, competitive, and comparative professional and social worlds.
While studies of millennials find that they, more than any other generation, express high regard for themselves and their own abilities, they also possess many signs and symptoms of IS, such as seeking to create a workaholic, excessively dedicated reputation.
If you think you have IS, you’re definitely not alone. And, you can do something about it.
Is It Imposter Syndrome?
Let’s review what imposter syndrome is.
It can be described as a set of beliefs and behaviors associated with individuals who doubt their abilities, attribute success to luck, and feel like frauds or phonies.
Imposter Signs and Symptoms
IS comprises a whole set of signs and symptoms, many of which can be indicative of other issues as well. Some people have symptoms, but many elicit just a few. And, of course, IS can wax and wane depending on the circumstances.
Judging Yourself
If you have IS, you likely lack confidence, doubt yourself and your abilities, judge yourself harshly against extremely high standards, harbor a lot of shame, and feel unworthy.
Perfectionism
Whatever you do needs to be absolutely perfect. So, you work compulsively, ignore your personal life and needs, and fail to attend to your own self-care. Yet, this goal of perfection is impossible to fulfill because you can find fault with whatever you do. Further, to you, it seems like everyone else performs well and with ease.
Dread of Praise and Deny Success
Consequently, you don’t tend to notice your achievements or the significance of your contributions no matter how conspicuously substantial they are. Even as others acknowledge your success and sing your praise, you attribute it to luck.
In fact, praise only serves to highlight your imagined flaws and imperfections.
Imposter syndrome is a heavy burden. It creates stress, anxiety, and even burned out. If not addressed, your health is may suffer as well.
How To Take Off Your Mask
The key to overcoming imposter syndrome is to address the underlying negative emotions and distorted beliefs. This allows you to safely and comfortably remove your mask. Suppression only fuels the syndrome. Avoidance only delays the inevitable.
There are many ways to address IS. This is partly due to the many variations in signs imposters manifest. In addition, there’s the range of symptoms, severity, persistence, underlying causes, etc.
Transitory vs Chronic and/or Generalized IS
When IS is a temporary response to uniquely challenging circumstances, simply making lists of your successes and positive attributes may provide the emotional rebalance you need.
However, for more chronic and pervasive IS, it’s critical to work on your underlying emotional and mental distortions.
Here, I share three useful ways to challenge and shift your perspective, transform your thinking, and turn your orientation away from external voices toward your internal authentic voice.
1. Compassionately Acknowledge Your Judgment Patterns
This method may seem incredibly simple. It is. But, it’s actually difficult to practice.
Sometimes judgments are so routine, it’s hard to even notice them. And, if you’re unaware of them, how do you create a pause to compassionately acknowledge them? Well, the first and probably most simple way is to slow down and literally breathe.
When you do notice that you’re criticizing your work, making light of your accomplishments, spouting out ways to improve it, etc, stop and say to yourself “I know, I hear you.” Breathe! And, breathe into your heart. Give yourself the compassionate space to respond rather than react.
2. Release Underlying Limiting beliefs
The key to addressing IS is to release those emotions and limiting beliefs that underlie the signs and symptoms of imposter syndrome (see NIH 2019 study).
In the gap that you’ve created by slowing down and breathing, (as above), you have a chance to check in. Ask yourself, what’s your perception and interpretation of the situation? Reflect on the validity of this story.
Is this the only possible story? Or, could there be other stories? And, might another story be more compassionate, supportive, and even more realistic than the original one?
Learning tricks to create the gap such as taking a breath or pinching a finger can shift you from reactivity to openness. These tricks may seem trivial. Yet, they aren’t. That’s because, the adoption of such behaviors requires clear intent, reminders, and habituation.
Identifying these, and gathering evidence of alternative narratives brings about an ability to convincingly question personal perspectives, decisions, and actions. This new perspective can help you shift and move forward. (See my Releasing Limiting Beliefs virtual and in-person workshops.)
3. Learn to Listen to Your Inner Self
The Cost of Listening to Everybody Else
If you’ve always been pressured to perform, compared to others, and encouraged to please your parents and/or others, chances are that as an adult you have a hard time hearing and following your own inner guidance. You set your goals and evaluate your performance based on someone else’s measure.
In other words, you’re externally oriented. Maybe even out of touch with yourself and what you really want or need.
IS Presists Over Generations of Women
This scenario will no doubt appear familiar to baby bombers and generation Xers women. Even though gender roles continue to evolve and break down over time, a great many millennials likely relate to this as well, but for different reasons.
According to Buckner and Strawer in the Communication Education journal, more than any other generation, millennial students report that they are more externally oriented, seeking direction and answers from others.
Turning Inward to Listen to Your Embodied Self
Listening to your inner self helps you gain confidence and commit to what is more authentic and true for you. (See my Living From the Inside Out virtual and in-person workshops.)
To listen to your inner self, you must slow down, turn your attention inward, sense within your body, listen to your embodied wisdom, trust what you hear, and when possible, follow its guidance.
Get to know when and how your body says “no” and withdraws. And when it says “yes” and wants to engage.
The Imposter’s Way Forward
These three practices require repetition, practice, and patience. Shifting is like peeling an onion. You go through layers and each layer is just a bit smaller than the first. Progress begets more progress. Like a knot, once you loosen a few strands, the rest of the strands seem to fall away voluntarily with greater ease.
If you need help, ask for it. Choose someone close to you to confide in and/or seek assistance from a professional.
While this is hard for a person with IS to do, consider it the first step toward changing your life. And, as you know well, problem-solving can be hard work, but that’s never deterred you before.
Getting Help In the Workplace
If you and others in your workplace suffer from IS, consider requesting assistance from human resources and management. There’s no need to risk the stigma of self-identification.
The statistics on IS in the workplace stand for themselves. Simply recognizing it as an issue, or perhaps conducting a survey of your workforce, can garner support and initiate change. (For some ideas, see my post on Empowering Your Staff: Address Imposter Syndrome.)
For Help With Imposter Syndrome, See:
- Starchaser Natural Healing and Wellness Workshops. In particular,
- Life Coach services.
- My related Mind-Body-Spirit blog posts, and use this “Transform Yourself” category link, or use the blog dropdown in the main navigation menu.
- Or, Contact Me
Updated September 23, 2022
